We talk about everything, HM and me —

Kanye, lip gloss, sushi and fashion

Personal growth, box-sets, book deals and TV,

And how to spread love, peace, truth and compassion.

HM asks my advice

On how to be authentic

I tell her it means speaking

Almost like you meant it.

‘You must smile more, and wave,

Be true to your roots.

Act kind of sincere —

That’s a trick I learnt on Suits.

‘And when the love flows

It’ll be like heaven, you

Will be showered with awards

As well as boosting your revenue.’

And it’s around this time I tell her

I’ve taken a silly bet

That I’ll make out we’re besties,

By naming my girl Lilibet.