Why affairs can be GOOD for society, by lawyer dubbed Diva of Divorce

HAVING affairs can be part of a healthy society, according to one of the UK’s top divorce lawyers.

Ayesha Vardag, dubbed the ‘Diva of Divorce’ after a string of highprofile court battles, encouraged Britons to ‘learn from the French’ and said she would turn a blind eye if her own husband cheated.

Ms Vardag, whose clients have included Qatari princes, Malaysian millionaires, business tycoons, international footballers, celebrities and royalty, told The Mail on Sunday: ‘ Are extramarital affairs part of a healthy society? Sometimes married couples get intolerably fed up of each other and indeed very l onely i n each other’s comp a n y as topics of conversation expire and the springs of desire run dry.

‘Is it always right for them to choose between r emaining unhappily together or divorcing

‘Could we learn from the French stereotype?’

and starting again? Or is it some- times worthwhile to keep the e structure of the marriage in n place – the secure home, the e family, the workable economic c structure, the steady domestic c routine – and take romance, love, e, sex, excitement where one can n find it, without rocking the boat? cally ‘It’s attributed the way Brits to the have French historii – never mind how many lovers we e both have, just keep it discreet et and we’ll continue to stay commmitted to our marriage, in a way y that works for all of us. Could we learn something from that?’

Lockdown has led to far fewer er couples divorcing because of affairs. Ms Vardag’s eponymous law firm reported a 17 per cent fall in cases citing affairs during the first lockdown in the spring of last year, and an even more dramatic 63 per cent fall during the last lockdown.

But the 53- year- old said that enquiries citing ‘bad behaviour’ – ranging from heated arguments to domestic violence – had soared.

The National Domestic Abuse Helpline recorded a 65 per cent increase in calls between April and June last year, compared to the previous three months. ‘If shutting down affairs correlates with domestic abuse, alcohol abuse and cruelty, is it always a good thing?’ asked Ms Vardag.

‘For a puritan society yes, perhaps, and there are those whose religions require it.

‘But in our broadly secular society, if we contemplate allowing people a degree of freedom to make their own path, and we focus on being kind to and supportive of our partners, rather than monogamous with them, then could we have longer, happier marriages?

‘More happiness, more fun, more sex, more love? Is serial monogamy so much better than polygamy or polyandry?’

‘But lockdown has made it more difficult to start and maintain affairs. If there’s no pub to go to, no conference, no hotel, and you’re working from home, there’s no opportunity to see existing lovers, let alone meet new ones. Allegations of affairs still occurred in the early days of the pandemic, as existing affairs came to light.

‘Suspicious spouses, with lots of time at home and phones l eft lying around, found incriminating WhatsApp messages to absent lovers or spotted their partners at the bottom of the garden on long, intense phone calls that didn’t look like an analysis of the latest sales figures.’

The mother-of-four claimed she would be accepting if her husband Stephen Bence cheated on her.

‘If he had an affair, I’d certainly like to think I’d be able to turn a blind eye, breeze past it and keep our marriage together, for all of the good things we have built together,’ said Ms Vardag.

The l awyer rose t o fame in 2010 when she won a landmark Supreme Court case that paved the way to making prenuptial agreements legally enforceable in England and Wales.

She keeps her client list secret, but secured a £64 million divorce deal for Pauline Chai, the wife of Khoo Kay Peng, the former boss of the Laura Ashley fashion chain, when their marriage ended after 42 years.