HOTEL CUSTODY

9PM, ITV

The staff at state-of-the-art Birchin Way in Grimsby (including Sergeant Vicky, right) joke that their detention facility is like a Hilton – but the custody officers need a sense of humour to deal with their more abusive ‘guests’. First to check in are a drunk couple dressed as the Joker and Harley

Quinn, who are charged with assault.