++Westminster wars++

+TELLING French president Emmanuel Macron to ‘prenez [get] un grip’ as he fumes after being cut out of the aUkUS defence deal, Boris muses: ‘It’s a very human thing to delay the frank conversation until the last possible moment.’ Just ask his ex, Marina, whom he left for younger carrie. + UP POPS one of the PM’s ex-mistresses, Jennifer Arcuri, at a Greater London Assembly committee probing the ‘trade’ trips she took when he was London Mayor. ‘You could see the difference in him when I walked into the room. Everyone knew he had a crush on me!’ breathed Jen. In the end he dumped her, but there is something charming about this Yankee who proves, pole-dancing and all, that blondes (and blonds) do have more fun. + kEIr STarMEr’S best effort to woo voters at this week’s Labour conference is a 12,000-word essay on winning power. In 1997, Tony Blair had a pledge card of 50 words — and won three consecutive landslides. + STANDING in for Boris at PMQs, Dominic Raab didn’t stand a chance against banshee Angela Rayner. Labour loved her berating Raab with warnings of impending class war. She likes the finer things, Ange, not least £249 headphones... paid for by us, natch.