Out of the mouths of babes

My SON-IN-LAW borrowed his father’s car. I said to my then five-year-old grandson, Elis: ‘Grandad is going to pick up his car later today.’

One-line Philosophers

I WANTED a new clock, but had to settle for second hand. Warren Brown, Falmouth, Cornwall.

THOSE who reach the top of the ladder in this world have someone holding it at the bottom. Antony Dean, Keighley, W. Yorks.

Wordy Wise

NEIGHBOURHOOD WITCH — local hag. Mrs Sylvia Dugard, Witney, Oxon. POLLCAT — feline survey. Dave Cullen, Leeds. CREME DE LA CRIME — world’s top criminals. Mrs Valerie Ashton, London N14. STOLLEN GOODS — cake the thieves got away with. V. Hefter, Richmond, Surrey. PUDDLE BOARD — for those with a limited supply of water. John Cuthbertson, Durham. ‘Don’t be silly, Nanny,’ he replied. ‘Grandad can’t pick up his car — it’s much too heavy for him.’

Olive Gallagher, Cardiff.