LAURA TRANTER,

from Stourbridge, got a nasty shock when she lifted her toilet seat to discover a 4ft long python lurking in the bowl. She has no idea how it got there. ‘I can’t get my head round it,’ she said. You certainly don’t expect to meet Hissing Sid in your bathroom. Laura had to call the RSPCA to remove it. Still, that might explain what Australia’s Cultural Attache Sir Les Patterson means when he says he’s going to the little boys’ room to syphon the python.