Autism and why I do understand Paddy’s worries for his children

When my son was two years old, our GP confidently and crassly told us he couldn’t be autistic: ‘We don’t have anyone with autism in this practice.’

he meant the condition was so rare that it could be considered non-existent. That was in 1998.

A decade later, an estimated one child in 100 had autism in Britain. And in the past five years, we learned on Paddy And Christine McGuinness: Our Family And Autism (BBC1), there has been a further 70 per cent increase in autism diagnoses among children.

All three of Paddy and Christine’s children — twins Penelope and Leo, eight, and Felicity, five — have autism. Very understandably, the couple are still struggling to grasp what it all means. They accepted the assurance of Professor Simon Baron Cohen at Cambridge University that the condition is genetic.

I can’t entirely concur with that. Certainly, the condition is far better understood and identified than it was 20 years ago.

But nobody ever needed to be a professor to realise that my lovely boy, now 25, is profoundly disabled. In any century, it would be completely unmissable. he will never be able to talk, and he requires round-the-clock care.

I believe something external is driving the autism epidemic. In my view, there must be environmental triggers. Autism, first identified in the U.S. in the 1940s, has become widespread only recently.

half-witted conspiracy theories should be dismissed. equally, it is dangerous to pretend that all autism is benign, and generations have always been affected this way. To see Paddy and his wife wrestling with their children’s problems was distressing and, to me, all too familiar.

Christine tries to embrace the diagnosis, celebrating how different they are. After filling in a questionnaire and discussing her traits with the professor, she even sees herself as autistic — hoping this will inspire and reassure her children as they grow up.

Whatever they go through, she is determined to go through it with them. Throughout the show, her bravery and selflessness was immensely moving. For a long time, Paddy admitted, he could not face what autism might mean for his three adored children.

he choked up repeatedly, trying to talk about how much he loves them, and how deeply he appreciates Christine for coping. Both of them are brilliant parents and everyone who watched will have been filled with admiration.

Paddy worries his children won’t be able to share the intense love he feels for them. I used to have the same fear for my son. I’ve come to understand that empathy and emotion are different things. Many autistic children struggle when other people don’t instinctively know all their thoughts and feelings. That doesn’t mean their emotions are weaker. Often, it’s the opposite.

My son’s feelings are more consuming than mine. he can’t switch them off. Seeing him fight to express them can be heartbreaking. I, at least, have the luxury of muting my emotions by watching trivia on TV.

Please don’t think that, because I’m frequently rude about shows, I don’t usually enjoy them. On the contrary, it was an amiable distraction to see Kevin McCloud floundering for whimsical, silly links to introduce the homes on Grand Designs: House Of The Year (C4).

he made cupcakes, he pretended to start a fire by rubbing sticks together, he even took his trousers off. The houses, including one on stilts in a flood plain and another that looked like an electricity sub-station, were all . . . well, let’s say it: hideous.