Mail Online

Who needs

Not me any more, says YOU’S digital editor Sophie Hines. She reveals the

Gymnast Simone Biles has her triple-double. Tennis star Novak Djokovic has his backhand down the line. My signature move? A body slam into the contents of my wardrobe, creating a gap just about big enough to squeeze in my latest purchase. If clothes shopping was a sport, I’d be taking home gold.

When I think about the amount of clothes I own, I feel sick. I live in London, where space is at a premium, yet I have four wardrobes, three chests of drawers and several under-bed boxes filled with my belongings. Last month alone I bought 18 new items and I’ve counted my dresses (a particular weakness of mine) – there are 103. Who needs 103 dresses?

While an obsession with shopping has always been seen as a cutesy little habit – and very Carrie Bradshaw – it is, in fact, stressful. And I’m not the only one struggling: according to mental healthcare experts The Priory Group, up to 16 per cent of people in the UK suffer from compulsive buying disorder, and nine in ten of those are women. My spending is also embarrassing – I feel ashamed of the environmental impact of buying so much, and dread to imagine what my make-do-andmend grandparents would think of my extravagance. With the cost-of-living crisis looming, it feels indecent to keep this up.

To help get my spending in check, I visit psychotherapist Vicky Reynal, who specialises in people’s relationship with money and has treated many overspenders. The reasons for shopping addiction vary, she tells me, ranging from those who grew up in poverty getting carried away with improved finances, to those from rich backgrounds who fail to rein in their spending once they’re self-funding.

One thing that is common, however, is using shopping to avoid difficult feelings. This definitely rings true for me, having spent my life veering between being ‘a bit of a worrier’ and having full-blown anxiety-induced meltdowns. Reynal also identifies that I have a very strong inner critic – perhaps because I keep telling her how disgusting I am for buying too many clothes. Paradoxically, using shopping to distract myself from my critic’s censure just leads it to tell me off even more.

We also talk about shopping as a means of assimilation. I was born and grew up in Wales with English parents, which meant I was the only one with an English (aka ‘posh’) accent in school and was acutely aware of sticking out. It makes sense, then, that I’d place a huge amount of value on having the ‘right’ clothes, and perhaps this subconscious obsession with fitting in has never quite left me.

Reynal says that as well as exploring the emotional reasons you shop, it’s helpful to identify the patterns behind when and how you spend. Well, first up there’s my job as YOU’S digital editor – this involves, among other things, me following fashion trends and scrolling through, for example, Zara’s new-in section to pick out the hottest buys. In other words, endless shopping temptation.

Then there’s social media, which has not only made it seem almost normal to wear an entirely new outfit every day, but it’s oh-so easy to click through from an influencer’s product link to the checkout with barely a second thought (nearly a third of women say they’re more likely to buy something after seeing it on social media).

Finally, my other major shopping trigger – the habit of scrolling on my phone in front of evening TV. The vast majority of my spending takes place online, and it’s with this in mind that I make a pact with my younger sister, who is trying to save money for a house move: no online shopping at all for a month.

At first, it feels impossible. Within about three hours, I’m on Asos adding a pair of shoes to my online basket, only to have a stern word with myself and delete the app. The next day, I get an email alert letting me know that a dress I’ve bookmarked and have been stalking online at H&M for weeks is finally in stock in my size. Surely it’s OK to

‘WITH THE COSTOF-LIVING CRISIS, IT FEELS INDECENT TO KEEP BUYING SO MUCH’

There’s no moving forward unless you do.

think about the cost of your habit – and not just the monetary price but the emotional one too. This will include feelings of guilt, shame and regret. Remind yourself of this trade-off as a tool to stop you from doing it again.

THE CANNY COOK

en-gb

2022-09-25T07:00:00.0000000Z

2022-09-25T07:00:00.0000000Z

https://mailonline.pressreader.com/article/282170770013886

dmg media (UK)