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The real reason he wants to rip my clothes off...

love, sex and dating

If there is one style of clothing my boyfriend hates, it’s billowing midi dresses. Until now he has kept his views hidden, but on a recent holiday, as my favourite midis – high-necked, floral, floaty – came out night after night, he looked increasingly despondent and then finally confessed that he’d happily burn every one of them on a big bonfire.

‘What?’ I asked. ‘Even the one I wore on our second date with the cut-out sides? (Thought process: tantalise with a subtle glimpse of flesh.) ‘Yep,’ he replied.

In fact, such is his sartorial loathing that he considers these dresses to be contraceptives in clothing form.

Back home we went out on a double date with our mates and, fuelled by a beer and bravado, the boys further discussed their dislike of a floaty midi dress.

They hated the big baggy shape in and of itself, but also said it made them wonder what the dress was hiding? (Er, I can tell you exactly what it’s hiding – unshaved legs, granny pants and the remnants of Christmas-pudding podge.)

They also disliked the fact that it doesn’t show off the female form, ie waist, legs, boobs. They are not alone in this – on the darker recesses of the web I found a study on men’s clothing preferences and all of those questioned said they liked clothes that accentuate a woman’s shape. Think LBDS, tight jeans, pencil skirts and even athleisure, as long as it is clingy.

My friend and I laughingly suggested that our menfolk’s ideal outfit would be the kind sported by Rachel Riley on Countdown in the early days: bandage dress, stilettos and a sunny smile. They solemnly concurred and when questioned ‘legs or cleavage?’ they simultaneously answered ‘both’.

So far so predictable.

There probably are men out there who appreciate pleated midi skirts, clumpy boots, culottes and ‘challenging shapes’ but I’ve only met a few.

All this, plus the countdown to Valentine’s Day, which always brings a surfeit of lingerie to our shop windows, has made me wonder whether anyone should dress to please their man (another column incoming), but also why I don’t dress sexily any more.

Looking back, dressing sexily used to feel good to me. In my late teens I wore hot pants created from napkin-sized fabric. I wore catsuits. I once went clubbing in a girdle. (I was hoping to emulate the Madonna/gaultier corset look – but in retrospect I realise I was less haute couture, more hot mess.)

Later, when I interned at glossy magazines and John Galliano’s slip dresses were big, I bought a similar(ish) one from the lingerie section of Marks & Spencer and wore it as outerwear to work (to the delight of the builders on Hammersmith Bridge).

But then something happened. I got a job in fashion and it was seen as too obvious, too basic, to dress sexily.

In fact, man-repellent clothes were the height of chic. And I noticed that if I wore something revealing it sometimes riled other women. Whether that’s because they felt threatened or I’d offended their taste, I was never quite sure. However, I did discover that I could bond with my peers if we all looked down on women who sported push-up bras, excess leopard print or leather pieces so tight you could see what they had for lunch.

When I got divorced I deliberately steered away from anything overtly sexy as I didn’t want to be deemed a threat by other women. And so, not wanting to lose friends or look either tragic or predatory, I went longer on hem length and higher on neckline.

Recently, though, something has shifted, and I feel like I want to sex it up. Perhaps this is another step in finding my old self post-divorce –

I want to go shorter, tighter, bolder.

In a chic way, naturally.

Now, where’s my razor?

i feared if i looked sexy other women would find me a threat

@lifesrosie @youmagazine

ROSIE GREEN

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2023-01-29T08:00:00.0000000Z

2023-01-29T08:00:00.0000000Z

https://mailonline.pressreader.com/article/282239489758580

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