QUOTES of the week

‘I was about to voice my great offence until I realised I might have to sit alongside him at GB News when I retire.’ BBC broadcaster Huw Edwards after being mistaken for Eamonn Holmes.

‘I had to do a speed awareness course too, and, as a famous actor, it was humiliating. No one recognised me.’ Actor Eddie Marsan’s tongue-in-cheek take on the Suella Braverman situation.

‘This will send a message to the gormless and feckless who think they can come here on a holiday from morality. Newsflash to all potheads: go giggle elsewhere!’ Amsterdam councillor Diederick Boomsma after the Dutch capital banned smoking cannabis in public.

‘These people are morons. The Royal Horticultural Society is moving heaven and earth on sustainability.’ Designer Gareth Wilson after Just Stop Oil protesters disrupted the Chelsea Flower Show.

‘He didn’t look like a terrorist. He looked like someone who’d had a bad day.’

Simon Parry, who witnessed a driver crash into the gates of Downing Street.

‘I am one of the many women to have seen Boris Johnson naked.’ Left-wing columnist Polly Toynbee, recalls meeting the former Prime Minister in 1964 when he was a baby.

‘I used to keep some coins in my pocket because I would often get off the bus and hear a small child cry. And I would think, “Oh no, she’s taken their ice cream.” ’

Former Cabinet Minister David Blunkett confesses that his former guide dog Ruby could land him in trouble.

‘I don’t want to, and if I don’t want to, the others won’t.’

Abba’s Benny Andersson rules out a 50th anniversary reunion for the band at next year’s Eurovision in Sweden.