My amazing dad and my lover died months apart, but I won’t be def ined by this grief

As she’s named by society mag Tatler as most eligible young Scot, Lady Lola Bute reveals her heartbreak...

HER young life has been marred by tragedy – yet Scots socialite Lady Lola Bute has vowed not to be ‘defined by grief’.

Born into one of Scotland’s oldest and wealthiest noble families, the 22-year-old has been handed opportunities most can only dream of.

However, the self-confessed party girl found herself ‘on a very destructive path’ after losing some of those closest to her.

Last year her beloved father Johnny Dumfries, the 7th Marquess of Bute, died of cancer at the age of 62.

The former racing driver’s death came less than two years after the shock suicide of Lady Lola’s boyfriend and lethal drug overdose of her best friend.

Now the young aristocrat, whose full name is Lady Lola CrichtonStuart, has revealed publicly her determination to move forward with her life and has asked others ‘not to feel sorry for me’.

Laying bare her feelings for the first time, the ‘IT Girl’ model admitted: ‘I don’t want to be the grieving person any more.

I’m Lola, and I want people to know me for Lola. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me.

‘This is my life and I don’t want other people’s lives to dictate mine.

‘I’ve been living in the past these past few years… I don’t want to do that any more. It’s time for me to do something for myself.

‘I’ve had to grow up quite a lot and quite quickly. I’ve done a lot of work on myself but there is still so much more I want to do. I think the people I have lost would be proud of how I am now.’

Her comments come as she is named the ‘most eligible’ young Scot – number 3 in the UK – by society bible Tatler.

The December edition of the magazine has published its Little Black Book listing Britain’s 200 hottest dates – describing her as a ‘wildly glamorous society darling’.

However, Lady Lola is keen to point out that her extravagant public persona and carefully curated social media feed of celebrity parties, glitzy fashion shows and exotic holidays aboard private yachts ‘isn’t the real me’.

Opening up about her insecurities, she admits she posts glamorous photographs online as a ‘quick fix’ to help her feel better about herself.

‘I portray this person on Instagram who’s not me. You’d look at my Instagram page and think, “She’s so vain”,’ she told the December edition of Tatler. ‘For a long time I haven’t liked myself and it [Instagram] is a quick fix. If I get loads of likes, I feel really good about myself.

‘It’s probably really easy to look at me as just another Instagram girl but there’s so much more to me than bikini pictures.’

The youngest child of Johnny

Dumfries, who won the 1988 Le Mans 24 hour race, Lady Lola splits her time between the Crichton-Stuart ancestral home, Mount Stuart Estate on the Isle of Bute, and her fashion designer mother Serena Bute’s London pad.

Of her late father, whose vintage oversized watch she wears every day, she said: ‘He was my best friend, the closest person in the world to me.

‘All my friends loved him so much. If you were speaking to him, you’d feel like you were the only person in the room.

‘He knew everything but he was so humble. He taught me that you’ve never learned enough – there’s always more you can learn. That’s how I want to live my life. I want to keep things that he loved alive... just want to make him proud.’

His death in March this year came less than two years after her boyfriend Kai Schachter-Rich, 21, took his own life and her close friend Ila Scheckter, the daughter of 1979 Formula 1 world champion Jody Scheckter, was found dead following a suspected accidental drug overdose.

Lady Lola, then just 19, quit alcohol in the months after Mr Schachter-Rich took his own life following an alleged argument between the pair – but has

I think the people I have lost would be proud of how I am now

I’ve been living in the past – I don’t want to do that any more

recently allowed herself to drink again.

She admitted: ‘I was on a very destructive path. I was living in New York and doing lots of partying, I don’t recognise the person I was then. ‘I needed time to reflect. It [quitting drinking] was really difficult but I needed it. It taught me that I didn’t have to be out of it to have fun. ‘I’m glad I did it but I don’t need to be sober any more.’ After spending the past two years fundraising for mental health and addiction charities, Lady Lola is now embarking on a career designing jewellery, with dreams of opening her own boutique in Paris, and is also undertaking a psychotherapy course in a bid to use her experiences to help others.