‘Murder Poppins’ doesn’tquitefly

ROBERT GORE-LANGTON

Criterion Theatre, London Until April 16, 1hr 55mins

Acouple, Peter and Debbie, return from a mid-price cruise on which they meet a brassy, eccentric American lady, Elsa from Denver, who threatens to stay with them back in London... which she does.

Just before she arrives, an internet search reveals her to be a possible killer of six people. So they’ve invited a potential psycho into their home – complete with their two festering teenagers – but are too polite and too English to kick her out.

This confection of white lies and black humour is written by

Steven Moffat, directed by Mark Gatiss and features Amanda Abbington (all three of Sherlock fame) as the mother opposite Reece Shearsmith (The League Of Gentlemen, Inside No. 9) as her husband.

But having by far the most fun is Frances Barber as the Trump-supporting Elsa, a human loud-hailer in orange velour who is determined to jolly up these sweet little Brits.

The problem for the parents is the lack of proof about their guest’s homicidal hobby. Plus, there’s an upside to Elsa’s stay: she befriends the kids, gets them out of their rooms and transforms the family dynamic for the better. If she is a killer, Debbie has to admit, she’s ‘Murder Poppins’.

A writer like Alan Ayckbourn might have delved much, much deeper into darker corners of family life here. Instead there’s a lot of sitcom-ish teenage moodiness (Maddie Holliday and Gabriel Howell play the grumpy siblings).

The highlight is a very nice turn from Michael Simkins as the deeply boring neighbour whose dogged persistence is his revenge on the world.

But be prepared for laborious set comic pieces, such as the policeman (Marcus Onilude) with gastric trouble who wants to use the lavatory, that would be much funnier at half the length.

The question-mark over Elsa’s criminal status ultimately drains the jeopardy and any gothic content from a show that’s far too content to coast on our assumed goodwill toward it.

There are laughs in this, and it has a very good cast. But it’s mostly a pretty beige affair that lacks bite.