NEXT WEEK’S NEWS...TODAY!

OUR weekly irreverent look at some of the stories that might be breaking over the coming days…

TODAY

A new impartiality debate flares up over Gary Lineker’s return to the BBC to cover the FA Cup match yesterday, as critics say he spent far too much time praising players on the left wing.

MONDAY

Jeremy Hunt announces more details about plans aimed at getting over-50s back to work, making it clear it does not apply to Dominic Cummings or Sue Gray.

TUESDAY

Vladimir Putin denies his jets downed an American drone last week, saying it must have just ‘fallen out of a window’.

WEDNESDAY

A recruitment drive is launched to address fears that a lack of bellringers could leave many British churches silent on

Coronation Day. Anyone interested in learning the skill should go to their local place of worship to be shown the ropes.

THURSDAY

Film-goers flocking to see Everything Everywhere All At Once after its Oscars success are baffled that it turned out not to be about Bradley Walsh’s TV career.

The Whitehall ban on TikTok comes into effect, leaving China unable to spy on what the Government’s up to – unless it looks at its CCTV cameras, spy balloons, satellites or WhatsApp messages that Ministers leak.

FRIDAY

Researchers who observed gorillas spinning around madly until they become dizzy and confused say that similar behaviours can be seen when you ask a Labour frontbencher to define the word ‘woman’.