I was burnt out, simple as that. I can’t thank Inverness enough for seeing that and telling me to step back a

ICT SPORTING DIRECTOR JOHN ROBERTSON ON HIS MENTAL-HEALTH BATTLE DURING COVID... AND WHY HE MAY HAVE TO GIVE HAMPDEN A SWERVE ON CUP FINAL DAY

JOHN ROBERTSON rarely attends Inverness Caledonian Thistle matches. Coming from the club’s sporting director that’s quite the admission, although he qualifies it by arguing he doesn’t have full say in the matter. For one thing, he has a roving role that frequently sends him around the country eyeing up the next unpolished gem to lure to the Highlands.

But there are other opinions at play that could yet prevent him attending next Saturday’s Scottish Cup final against Celtic.

‘I’ve only seen the team win twice all season,’ he states, ‘Stirling Albion and Arbroath. Otherwise, we’ve tended to lose.

‘I’m not superstitious myself but I know certain members of the coaching staff, the playing squad and board of directors are.

‘So, for the quarter-final, I volunteered to be at Queen’s Park rather than here. During the semifinal I was down watching a player at Scarborough.

‘The likelihood is I will be at Hampden. But if the players wish to send me and (wife) Sally off for the weekend …’

He’s teasing of course, but there is one other matter that could still prevent him being there to support Billy Dodds and his players.

An arthritic hip diagnosed during his goalscoring days has finally caught up with him. A replacement has been ordered and he is awaiting a summons to hospital.

‘I’ve had the scans and pre-op assessment,’ he says. ‘I was 28 and at Hearts

The team has tended to lose games when I’ve been watching them

when I was first diagnosed, so it would always catch up with me.

‘It’s not great when you’ve got to ask your wife to put your socks on and tie your shoes.

‘Health-wise, I feel great. I’ve shed a few pounds and I’m in a good place. Mentally strong.’

The last point is pertinent and reassuring to hear.

In February 2021, Robertson was granted compassionate leave by Caley Thistle from the manager’s job he had occupied for three-anda-half years.

The preceding months, overseeing the club’s transition back to competitive football during Covid, had been an extremely stressful process, one complicated by the club’s geographic remoteness from its Championship competitors.

Social-distancing regulations made travel to games a challenge. Ditto the simple necessities like eating and washing.

And then there was the tragic loss of his older sister Moira to cancer.

‘I was burnt out, simple as that,’ he states. ‘I was working through Covid up here in isolation.

‘I had players whose wives were pregnant. The worry every day was whether somebody was going to take it home to them. My own wife has underlying health issues.

‘They were bringing rules in like no pre-match at hotels. Where were we supposed to eat? We played at Morton one night in the pouring rain and were told ‘no showers’!

‘Throw in what happened with my sister. Just complete burnout.

‘I can’t thank Scot Gardiner (Inverness’s chief executive), the chairman and the directors enough for seeing that and telling me to step back and take time away.

‘I went cold turkey. No football for six or seven weeks. I wasn’t allowed to watch it, read it or even dream about it!’

The club’s short-term solution was to bring in Neil McCann as caretaker boss, assisted by Dodds. When McCann stepped away at the end of the 2020-21 season, Dodds was a natural fit for the permanent role as Robertson returned in his new and current position.

During those darker days, Robertson was lucky enough to have a long-standing passion project to focus on.

For years he’d been chipping away at an autobiography and a couple of years ago Robbo (The game’s not over till the fat striker scores), was finally published.

Unusually, he eschewed several ghost-writing offers to pen the narrative himself.

He’s proud of the feedback of his former team-mate John Colquhoun, who told him the book began and ended with emotional clout.

Yet, to this reader, the most astonishing chapter is No7, Tears and Trials, in which he details training adventures at Arsenal and Brian Clough’s Nottingham Forest beside the heart-breaking episode of his father’s death and his own subsequent hospitalisation.

The Robertson family had decided it was best to protect their two youngest children from news of John Sr’s death and so 14-year-old John Jr and Heather, 13, spent a full weekend completely unaware that their father had gone. Before heading out to play football on the Saturday morning, John had even pulled back the sheet covering what he assumed was his sleeping dad’s head to give him a routine goodbye kiss.

‘There was a naivety about kids and society back then,’ he muses. ‘A 14-year-old in 1978 would probably have the same awareness as an eight or nine-year-old today.

‘We didn’t have the internet, that constant access to information. There were only three TV channels and we wouldn’t have encountered cancer on hospital dramas.

‘I had no idea my dad was ill. He used to cycle everywhere to watch me in games. And then he was gone. My family decided to wait before telling me and my sister. They thought that was best…’

Later that year, Robertson was himself admitted to hospital for five full days. ‘I was listless, had no energy, wasn’t enjoying school and I didn’t like football anymore,’ he says. ‘I went to the city hospital in Edinburgh but they couldn’t find anything wrong.

‘That was the naivety of the 70s. They wouldn’t have imagined that a 14-year-old boy would be suffering from grief, anxiety or stress. Now, they would have a clinical term. Anything from PTSD, to grief, to depression.’

As awareness around mental health has grown and attitudes softened, Robertson believes football itself has developed a healthier dressing-room culture.

‘There’s absolutely no doubt about that,’ he adds. ‘I can only judge the 80s and 90s when I played, but there were lots of problems. The gambling and drinking culture was a lot worse.

‘That didn’t make you a bad pro or a bad person, it’s just the culture you grew up in. The foreign player

‘Inverness fans would probably give us a one-in-ten chance. Celtic fans one in a thousand. But you always have a fighter’s chance. And head-to-head with Celtic in the Scottish Cup we are ahead’

who came in the late 80s early 90s had a higher level of dedication and knowledge which brought change. After my dad died. I just felt I needed to get on with it. That was a very important period for me as I was invited to clubs down south for trials.

‘I’ve still got all the letters, each addressed to my mum. But even in everything I do today there is still a huge part of me hopes I’m doing my dad proud.’

A revered goalscorer for Hearts and Scotland, he surely far exceeded any of John Sr’s expectations. Indeed, he has just lost his status as the last Tynecastle player to score 20 in a season.

‘I’m not precious about records,’ he says. ‘When Lawrence Shankland broke my record I thought it was great. I hope he gets to 30. And beats the 27 derby goals.

‘Because that means the club will have been successful.’

It’s now 21 years since Robertson commenced his managerial career by moving to Inverness from Livingston where he had occupied a coaching role.

‘I wouldn’t rule out coaching again one day but I’m not ruling it in either,’ he says. ‘I’m 58 and have vast experience. Sometimes I miss it. There’s no doubt.

‘But you have to be asked. There are 42 clubs in Scotland and hundreds, if not thousands, of coaches out there who would be interested. Now my role is sporting director/head of recruitment. I’ve always had a unique ability to compartmentalise. When I played, I played. Being a player/coach was awkward. I’m enjoying the role I have now and I tend to try and not watch our games if possible.’

Set aside the superstition angle and that does seem odd. Robertson can often be heard on the radio on a Saturday afternoon, providing analysis from Ross County matches along the road in Dingwall. This has caused some raised eyebrows among Caley Thistle fans.

‘Yes, I’m there to commentate but I’m also there to network,’ he says. ‘I’ll chat to opposing coaches and directors and also keep my eye on the opposition — see who’s on the bench or, more importantly, not on the bench. Are these players possibilities for us on loan?

‘Other weeks, I’ll head to England, trying to find players.’

Last season, Dodds led Inverness to the play-off final where, after a spirited fightback to draw 2-2 with St Johnstone, they ran out of steam in the second leg in Perth.

This season’s cup run has softened the blow of falling out of the play-off places, a drop attributable to horrendous injuries as much as a dip in performance.

‘I have never seen an injury list like it,’ Robertson. ‘When we played

Queen’s Park at Ochilview, we only had three subs on the bench — and two were schoolboys!

‘Billy rallied the boys and once we started to get them back we went on a run of seven straight victories and a draw.’

If rotten luck denied Dodds the services of key players for extended periods, kinder fortune has helped them along the road to Hampden.

Well beaten by Queen’s Park in the fourth round, a registration error saw the Glasgow club kicked out of the tournament and Caley Thistle reinstated.

Handsome wins over Livingston, Kilmarnock and Falkirk followed. Nothing compares to the test they face against Treble-hunting Celtic next weekend.

Yet Robertson has experience of the giant-killing exploits needed for a big upset. Twenty years ago, and three after the Super Caley Go Ballistic headlines of 2000, Robertson’s team welcomed Martin O’Neill’s side to Inverness on the back of a landmark UEFA Cup quarter-final win over Liverpool and defeated them 1-0 thanks to a Dennis Wyness strike.

‘If there’s one club that has shown it can upset the Celtic juggernaut, it’s Inverness,’ he says. ‘Inverness fans give us a one in 10 chance. Celtic fans one in a thousand.

‘But you always have a fighter’s chance. And head-to-head with Celtic in the Scottish Cup we are ahead. I joked years ago that Celtic are normally the Supermen but maybe we are their kryptonite.’

Caley’s last Scottish Cup triumph came in 2015 when John Hughes’s side beat Celtic in the semi-final en route to lifting the trophy for the first time. If there’s to be repeat, Robertson will surely be there to witness it.

‘I’ve been fitted for my suit but whether that outfit is worn….’