WHY DOES MY FRIEND ALWAYS BRING HER NEW MAN?

I’ve been widowed for five years and am in my late 60s. I still miss my husband hugely but have become great friends with another widow. We usually meet once or twice a week for a walk or a coffee – or sometimes the cinema. However, she has recently fallen head over heels for a new man. I am very happy for her and he is delightful, but the trouble is that they seem to be joined at the hip. My kind friend still makes plans to see me twice a week – but now he always comes too. I’m not jealous.

I loved my husband a great deal, but I’m not lonely and I’m not interested in another romantic relationship. I miss seeing my friend on her own to have a girly chat. I don’t know how to tell her.

Hmm, yes, it sounds almost like the intensity of a teen romance where the best friend gets her first boyfriend and suddenly everything is about him. Perhaps your companion’s marriage might not have been completely fulfilling. Maybe she has never been truly ‘in love’ before and is now caught up in her new romance and wants to be with him all the time. Maybe he is the same – or just a little needy. Don’t worry, I think your friend is in the ‘honeymoon phase’ where the happy couple simply can’t get enough of each other, but this intensity isn’t usually maintained so I expect it will right itself within a few months. If it doesn’t then, yes, do talk to her. Explain how very much you like him but could you and she have a girls’ afternoon/ evening once a month. Alternatively, do you have any male friends who can get your friend’s new partner interested in golf, cricket, football etc?