Glam tidings I bring…

Unlike more divisive gifts, such as socks, tea towels or anything with a plug, beauty presents are an easy win. (Relatively) affordable, they combine covetable packaging, delicious scents and the implicit promise of a more gorgeous you. They’ll fire up joy in all but the most curmudgeonly receiver.

Here are some buys that are guaranteed to keep on giving pleasure, long after the wrapping paper has been torn off. So, share this list with your friends and family. Or, better still, treat yourself.

1

Vieve Treasure Tin in Cherub (£39, vieve.co.uk)

Oh Vieve, you had me at cherubs! This brand has flattering formulations that I keep returning to. Encased in a limited-edition tin are a full-size Lip Dew and a Sunset Blush. Both flattering and wearable. Available in Pesca and Rosa shades, too.

2

VB Perfume Bottle Necklace (£240, victoriabeckham.com) Want! Keep your favourite perfume close to your heart with this gorgeous accessory. Fill the gold-plated brass vessel with your signature scent and reapply throughout the day.

3

Goutal Une Forêt d’or Limited Edition Scented Candle (£74.70, escentual.com) Truly exquisite, Goutal’s is this year’s standout candle offering. If self-gifting, buy early for maximum enjoyment and relish the sophisticated pine forest fragrance and cheering glow. A bigger than average size, its seductive red and gold packaging instantly lifts spirits.

4

Jessica Phenomen Oil Intensive Moisturiser (£10.50, lookfantastic.com) A brilliant stocking filler, this dinky 7.4ml travel-size bottle is both transportable and transformative. Perfect for strengthening abused nails after the party season. Can also be used on lips, elbows and knees.

5

La Bonne Brosse N05 Round Brush (£128, labonnebrosse.co.uk)

I know my editor’s eyes will be rolling at the price, but this brush is an

investment. In a throwaway culture, the manufacturer promises it will last a lifetime. Such is the detangling, smoothing power of its boar bristles, I’m back blow-drying my hair. Plus, it’s a thing of beauty.

6

La Montaña Night Star Eau de Parfum (from £22, lamontana.co.uk) If you don’t want to smell like everyone else, then this is for you. Produced in small quantities, the rich, velvety fragrance is sexy, chic and feminine: a come-closer blend of sensual (and seasonal) ingredients such as nutmeg, myrrh and mandarin.

7

Oto The Ultimate Balm

(£29, otowellbeing.com)

This is therapy in a tube and in the crazy Christmas run-up period I reach for it hourly. Loaded with calming CBD oil and soothing botanicals, it de-stresses, relieves tension and eases muscle aches. Ultra-nourishing, it’s also a beauty multitasker. Pat on to chapped lips, dab over cuticles and use it to highlight brow and cheekbones. Oh, and did I mention that it smells divine?

8

No7 Limited Edition Lipstick in Infinity (£12.95, boots.com) The nude version of this lipstick was a Boots bestseller last year, so grab this iteration while you can. Beautifully bold, the sparkle-infused colour creates a showstopping look with its flattering, lip-plumping formula. Gold packaging and cult status add to its appeal.

This newly found perfume attracts the most compliments of any I’ve ever worn. The tuberose reminds me of India. Or did. I smashed the bottle last weekend.

Exactly. The Guardian says it’s ‘unremittingly awful’.

Gloss over that one then and imagine the Curtis movie heyday.

I’m imagining...

Apparently, you’re aiming for an interior styled ‘as though Hugh Grant is your love interest’.

So, I’m dating an ageing actor? Not 2023’s Hugh Grant. The floppy-fringed, year 2000 version.

OK, apart from Hugh Grant, what else goes in this house? An abundance of swiss cheese plants.

Anything else?

Clashing wallpapers patterned with monkeys and bright chevrons.

Sounds hectic.

Well, strap in, because you’re also aiming for ‘handcrafted wooden pendants hung on door handles and around light fixtures’.

Hugh likes those, does he? Definitely. And remember to ‘scatter bundles of handpicked roses’.

Where?

Anywhere that isn’t already taken by ‘lovingly displayed trinkets’.

Does this fantasy life with Hugh Grant feature any uncluttered surfaces? Absolutely not! Uncluttered surfaces are anathema to frazzlers.

It’s not just interiors, then – people can be frazzled, too? Yes. Obviously, you know about the Tiktok fashion trend #frazzledenglishwoman?

Obviously… but just remind me.

It first appeared last year but has had a resurgence recently and now has 16.4 million views.

Why the resurgence? Because frazzled English women (FEW) populate the sort of Christmas movies that inform the look.

Such as?

Renée Zellweger in Bridget Jones’s Diary, Kate Winslet in The Holiday and Keira Knightley in Love Actually.

And what’s in FEW’S capsule wardrobe?

Skinny scarves, shapeless knitwear, jewel-coloured tights, knee-high boots and a baker boy cap. Just think Y2K.

Y2... what?

Year 2000. Although FEW doesn’t do ‘capsule’ (too minimalist) or indeed ‘wardrobe’ (too restrictive).

Where does she keep her clothes?

Artfully draped over something squashy covered in bouclé, though given the choice she’d be in pyjamas. And wellies.

Together?

If she could get away with it. Crocs are also permissible although anachronistic for the late 90s iteration of FEW.

But what does she wear to work? I assume she isn’t rich. No, and neither are her friends. They all work in publishing or maybe a book shop.

Are her friends FEW, too? Definitely not. There can only be one frazzler in the group otherwise things get way too shambolic.

Who are her sidekicks?

A cynical American and a gay best friend.

And they all hang out in her charmingly frazzled home?

They do, and this is just the time for her to maximise the chaos-chic.

How will she be doing that? By following Ideal Home’s advice to ‘playfully build upon your foundation with tumbling quilts’.

Are they telling us not to make the bed?

Exactly. Unmade is very now – searches for ‘ruffled bedding’ are up 35 per cent on Etsy.

CLUTTER-FREE SURFACES ARE ANATHEMA TO FRAZZLERS

What about cooking? Presumably even frazzled people must eat.

Yes, although sourcing culinary items among the lovingly displayed trinkets is problematic and commonly results in much overuse of the word ‘bugger’.

How will FEW cope?

She’ll probably just end up bunging a few crisps in a bowl.

What kind of crisps?

Oh, come on – you do the maths.